A Small Glimpse

Tonight, I can't sleep. I have these nights every once in a while and one of the things that I love to do rather than lay in my bed tossing and turning and feeling frustrated is to go upstairs and climb into bed next to each of my children for a few minutes and listen to them breathe and admire them and then cover them back up with the covers they've all inevitably kicked off, kiss them, and head back downstairs. Usually when I do this, Molly will be so sound asleep that she doesn't stir at all, Jack will move a bit but not wake, and William will wake just enough to give me a half smile with his eyes still closed and throw his arms around my neck. I love that. Tonight, I got the response from each child that I have come to expect. But, while Will was giving me his twilight hug, I thought about the beautiful gift that he gave to me the day he was born. As children, we know the love of our parents but we don't understand it from their perspective, only from our own. We grow to love them because they first loved us and because they care for us, which is how I also think about my love for God. When we grow up and meet the person with whom we will build our lives together, we are drawn to them first by their personality and physical appearance, but then fall in love with those things that make up their character. As we know them more, we fall more in love with them. Again, that is how I think of my love for God. But, when we have our first child, we discover a new love. It isn't grown. It exists deeply and unbreakably immediately. Our love for our children has nothing to do with what they've done for us. Indeed we love them before we even know them, before they've revealed who they are to us, before they even know who they are themselves. And that is how I view God's love toward me. What a precious gift to us that He can give us just a glimpse of His great love. He loves us not because of what we've done. He loves us before we've made any acknowledgment of Him. He loves us before we understand who we are ourselves, if we ever do. There is nothing that could separate my children from my love and there is nothing that can separate me from the love of my Father in heaven. What a beautiful picture it is and what a beautiful reminder as I lay beside my child, admiring him. He may not have picked up his room today. He may have given me attitude or been unkind to his sister. But, none of that floats in my mind as I delight in him. To me, he is beautiful. To me, he is joy. To me, he is my greatest accomplishment. Wow, that my Father would think the same of me.